Ego is the "I" part of us. It is the false self of who we are. Ego is governed by power, control, self-absorption,and is based on fear. Those who have big egos do not love themselves enough. In a strange twist, their lack of self-love blocks true love from existing in their world. Instead they focus on dominating all of their relationships and like spoilt brats, eventually destabilize every loving union they have.
That's the bad news. Now the good news.
Ego-driven relationships can be saved. Saved by two kinds of love-our self-love and our love for others. When we keep coming from love, ego diminishes. We all have a degree of ego. However, too much"I" is unhealthy, and stops us from being able to put loved ones first.
In an ego partnership, our needs always come first, above our partner.
In a love-based union, in a place of self-love , we happily meet the needs of our partner. It is a joy to do so.
Love gives without measure. Ego takes for the self.
To lessen our ego-based behavior, we need to mindful and come from love on every occasion. Whenever possible we need to
- stop arguing about everything
-stop having to be right
-stop criticizing and laying blame
-stop withholding love as punishment
-stop playing power games
-stop diminishing
-stop shaming others
- stop making up lies to hold the powerwith
-stop taking and not giving back
-stop defending, judging, and avoiding issues
-stop being selfish
-stop hurting others to assert our power
-stop disconnecting from loved ones
-stop being mean, nasty, or cruel
Instead in love we
-find ways to agree and find compromise
-embrace others and accept their right to their own opinions or beliefs
-give praise and encouragement
-give love unconditionally
-refrain from power playing
-lift our loved ones up, especially when they are down
-show how proud we are of them
-speak the truth kindly
-be willing to sacrifice our needs when necessary
-be giving and kind
-show compassion and understanding
-listen in an nonjudgmental way
-be open to advice and show respect for others
-be willing to admit our wrongdoings
-strive never to intentionally hurt another person or animal
- love unconditionally in every situation we encounter
All of us can move from an ego-based life but there is only one path to success. It is the path of unconditional love. With a loving intention, every step moves us further away from ego and closer to love. Love dissolves the ego, and makes us whole again.
