Dealing with difficult people

Some of us are easy-going and loving. Some of us are difficult.
We could be like that from our genetics, personality, or environment.
Trying to be the better part of ourselves enables us to give love and be patient with these souls.
When they are cranky give love, when they are difficult give love, and when they are impossible give love.
Stand firm within our boundaries, and still give love.
Love heals.

Why love is better than ego

Ego is the "I" part of us. It is the false self of who we are. Ego is governed by power, control, self-absorption,and is based on fear. Those who have big egos do not love themselves enough. In a strange twist, their lack of self-love blocks true love from existing in their world.  Instead they focus on dominating all of their relationships and like spoilt brats, eventually destabilize every loving union they have. 

That's the bad news. Now the good news.

Ego-driven relationships can be saved. Saved by two kinds of love-our self-love and our love for others. When we keep coming from love, ego diminishes. We all have a degree of ego. However, too much"I" is unhealthy, and stops us from being able to put loved ones first. 

In an ego partnership, our needs always come first, above our partner.

In a love-based union, in a place of self-love , we happily meet the needs of our partner. It is a joy to do so. 

Love gives without measure. Ego takes for the self.   

To lessen our ego-based behavior, we need to mindful and come from love on every occasion. Whenever possible we need to 

- stop arguing about everything 

-stop having to be right

-stop criticizing and laying blame 

-stop withholding love as punishment 

-stop  playing power games 

-stop diminishing 

-stop shaming others

- stop making up lies to hold the powerwith

-stop taking and not giving back

-stop defending, judging, and avoiding issues 

-stop being selfish 

-stop hurting others to assert our power

-stop disconnecting from loved ones

-stop being mean, nasty, or cruel

Instead in love we

-find ways to agree and find compromise

-embrace others and accept their right to their own opinions or beliefs

-give praise and encouragement

-give love unconditionally 

-refrain from power playing

-lift our loved ones up, especially when they are down

-show how proud we are of them

-speak the truth kindly

-be willing to sacrifice our needs when necessary 

-be giving and kind 

-show compassion and understanding

-listen in an nonjudgmental way 

-be open to advice and show respect for others

-be willing to admit our wrongdoings

-strive never to intentionally hurt another person or animal

- love unconditionally in every situation we encounter

All of us can move from an ego-based life but there is only one path to success. It is the path of unconditional love. With a loving intention, every step moves us further away from ego and closer to love. Love dissolves the ego, and makes us whole again. 

How to say no.

For some of us, saying no is hard. We may have been brought up as pleasers and this is an inbuilt response.
Saying no when we don't want to do something is being honest. Life sends us many difficult people and situations and saying no can challenge even the strongest souls.
When we decide to stand up and speak our truth it may feel uncomfortable and bring up fear. We may even feel guilty. However, looking after ourselves is an act of self-love. We are doing what is intuitively best for us and honoring who we are.
To start, we  decide how best to say no. Next, we have to work out the best method. Using distance can work well. If we need we can use email, text, or voicemail.
Without the other person trying to persuade us we are more likely to get an outcome that we need.
Face to face is good but in the beginning it may be too challenging.
Once we see that looking after our needs is a healthy choice, saying no becomes easier.

From It's all about ...Love comes The joy of self-love

The joy of self-love

Being in love with ourselves is a daily challenge. Even if we have a large bundle of self-love, there will be times and situations when we do not feel joyful about our life. Loving and being joyful is easy in the good times. It is more challenging when difficulties arise.

When I work on my issues, I endeavor to love myself more. It seems to help the process move along; it is like being my own personal cheer squad. If I am trying to alter a pattern of behavior, I need to be mindful of being loving and kind to myself. Some patterns are very hard to change, and it may seem that we take one step forward and another back. At these times, we need to keep our self-love high.

There is joy in self-love, a sense of coming home to ourselves. In this acceptance and place of love, we can feel happy and at peace. Of course, there is always another personal hurdle to jump, but our spirit is replenished and our attitude positive.

When we live with self-love, nothing can destroy us and with every step, we progress a little further. Before, when I was full of self-hate, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. Never being good enough was life-sapping. Then gradually, I began to love myself and the joy I felt increased.

Joy and love are similar, for where one goes so does the other. When we eventually experience joy and love, we are nourished. This is the supreme gift that we give to ourselves.

My latest book called It's all about...Love will be available soon. I will be downloading sections for you to read. Love, Wendy x

Friends are the gifts we give to one another.