In all of our relationships there is a struggle between our needs and our wants.
A need is what we cannot live without. A want is something we can live without yet wish we had.
In life, knowing what we need and what we want will help us to sort out the very source of who we are.
It is futile to tell others that they are not fulfilling our needs, without being able to be clear in ourselves what these needs are. Try to make a list of your needs. Is it more physical contact, more mental stimulation, more romance, more nurturing, more emotional connection? What are your needs?
Honestly, until we can be clear about our non-negotiable needs how can the other person know and understand? And when I use the word non-negotiable I mean the very heart of what we can't live happily without.
Once you have figured out the list look at how these needs can be met. Then make a time to discuss it. Ask the other person to also make up their list and together you can work towards a more positive outcome.
Naturally, our needs can sometimes be the same but often they will be very different. We are individuals and therefore we will come from different places.
Usually when our needs are being met we are happy; however, when they are not the relationship begins to flounder and fail.
Love in a relationship is the ability to meet the other person's needs while retaining our own integrity.
This simple exercise will bring clarity and healing to every relationship and help to move it to the next level of love and awareness.
Love, Wendy x
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